okay so sophomore year i used to be really weird and obsessed with venting to a blog that no one read .. and i just found this post and thought it was too funny and brilliant not to re-share. hahha don't judge, i was a little wild back then.
So today was going somewhat typical. I get home from Evit and think to myself, "let's be rational here Heidi. You were ungrounded this weekend. You pretty much have your own car, 10 bucks in your wallet, a closet full of clothing you have all already worn but there has to be some possibilities left, and you just got your hair done so it looks almost somewhat better than it's usual nastiness. it's 6:30 on a saturday evening and what did you decide to do with your life? stay home and stream netflix movies. by yourself. in sweat pants. wallowing about how depressing your life is" now usually, people would throughly enjoy this and find it relaxing/rejuvinating/ a time for self reflection . but you see... i haven't had a decent social life in quite some time. therefore i just dont really enjoy it anymore. it goes in a circle, i'm so depressed about my lack of social life that i decide to do nothing about it, therefore further contributing to my lack of social life which leads to more self pity. and self pitty is never good. isn't that against one of the commandments? i'm just not really sure. i have this problem when it comes to listening in church... i zone out and start thinking about wedding planning and how if that lady in front of me just used a little root lifter and blow dried with an oversized round brush, her hair would tease so much better so it wouldn't be flat and ratted and she would just be a much happier person. and clothes... i think about clothes a lot. and home decor. and then the nice lady behind us chases her little kid out of the door and i'm brought back to reality for a second so i catch maybe 10 seconds at the most of what the speaker is saying about food storage. but then.. i think about that lady out in the hall with her adorable little girl. and how rosie and lucy are such cute girl names. and how i want to name my sons hudson braxton stanton and bently because, lets get real now, how could a guy have a name like that and not be precious and attractive? so of course i need to bless my child by using one of those names, they will thank me in the long run. and then i'm again brought back to reailty for a second when i realize i have been staring at my sister's hair. oh, the speaker has moved on to tithing and how it blesses people's lives. then i think about how i could cut my sister's hair so it had more natural wave to it. then i think about how some boys have such great natural wave to their hair and it's not fair because they dont even need it... then i've moved on to boys. which of course i could think about all day long. i mean, come on now, i know a decent amount of good looking boys. it's such a shame how they're all stupid and manipulative and selfish.. well guess what. i'm not stupid. i know you don't really like me, i know this is all a mind game. and i'm not falling for it. doesn't mean i wont go for it... haha but i know what you're up to. sometimes i think ugly people have life better off. i mean, if you're ugly at least you know people really like you for you. skill-less, talent-less, peronsality lacking people like myself are screwed. oh wait... this is church. calm down. focus. do you see the minutely struggle i have to deal with in my head? there's just so many things to think about! i seriously need medication. it's not just church, school is pretty bad too. how could i possibly listen to a lesson about the endocrine system when there's a girl wearing hot pink plush cat ears a matching tail 2 rows in front of me. and that's no exageration, there are people who dress like that. then i have to think through all of the possibilties of what could be going on in her family life that makes her so inseccure about herself that she feels the need to throw herself out there in the world and wear something like that. some would say it's mean to make assumptions like that, but then again i dont want to just assume she's a total weirdo without a decent cause behind it, ya know? i decided i'm just a people watcher. i just really enjoy to watch people in the store or in their cars waiting for the light to turn red. and then they see me looking at them and get creeped out. and it's awkward because how am i supposed to explain to them that i have a strange dissorder called mindless wanderation syndrome that causes me to loose focus after 10 seconds and have temporary memory loss of reality and makes me stare at people without trying to? it's just way too complicated. where was i going with this.... oh yeah. netflix. so i get home from school today, just minding my own buisness, just simply wanting to watch a WW 2 drama romance movie or a dumb hilary duff comedy... but guess what. that's when this terrible little window showed up on the screen. "you have reached the maximum limit of streaming hours for the month." well just shoot me now, stupiud netflix.
No comments:
Post a Comment