welllll.....

So today was going somewhat typical. I get home from Evit and think to myself, "let's be rational here Heidi. You were ungrounded this weekend. You pretty much have your own car, 10 bucks in your wallet, a closet full of clothing you have all already worn but there has to be some possibilities left, and you just got your hair done so it looks almost somewhat better than it's usual nastiness. it's 6:30 on a saturday evening and what did you decide to do with your life? stay home and stream netflix movies. by yourself. in sweat pants. wallowing about how depressing your life is" now usually, people would throughly enjoy this and find it relaxing/rejuvinating/ a time for self reflection . but you see... i haven't had a decent social life in quite some time. therefore i just dont really enjoy it anymore. it goes in a circle, i'm so depressed about my lack of social life that i decide to do nothing about it, therefore further contributing to my lack of social life which leads to more self pity. and self pitty is never good. isn't that against one of the commandments? i'm just not really sure. i have this problem when it comes to listening in church... i zone out and start thinking about wedding planning and how if that lady in front of me just used a little root lifter and blow dried with an oversized round brush, her hair would tease so much better so it wouldn't be flat and ratted and she would just be a much happier person. and clothes... i think about clothes a lot. and home decor. and then the nice lady behind us chases her little kid out of the door and i'm brought back to reality for a second so i catch maybe 10 seconds at the most of what the speaker is saying about food storage. but then.. i think about that lady out in the hall with her adorable little girl. and how rosie and lucy are such cute girl names. and how i want to name my sons hudson braxton stanton and bently because, lets get real now, how could a guy have a name like that and not be precious and attractive? so of course i need to bless my child by using one of those names, they will thank me in the long run. and then i'm again brought back to reailty for a second when i realize i have been staring at my sister's hair. oh, the speaker has moved on to tithing and how it blesses people's lives. then i think about how i could cut my sister's hair so it had more natural wave to it. do you see the minutely struggle i have to deal with in my head? there's just so many things to think about! i seriously need medication. it's not just church, school is pretty bad too. how could i possibly listen to a lesson about the endocrine system when there's a girl wearing hot pink plush cat ears a matching tail 2 rows in front of me. and that's no exageration, there are people who dress like that. then i have to think through all of the possibilties of what could be going on in her family life that makes her so inseccure about herself that she feels the need to throw herself out there in the world and wear something like that. some would say it's mean to make assumptions like that, but then again i dont want to just assume she's a total weirdo without a decent cause behind it, ya know? i decided i'm just a people watcher. i just really enjoy to watch people in the store or in their cars waiting for the light to turn red. and then they see me looking at them and get creeped out. and it's awkward because how am i supposed to explain to them that i have a strange dissorder called mindless wanderation syndrome that causes me to loose focus after 10 seconds and have temporary memory loss of reality and makes me stare at people without trying to? it's just way too complicated. where was i going with this.... oh yeah. netflix. so i get home from school today, just minding my own buisness, just simply wanting to watch a WW 2 drama romance movie or a dumb hilary duff comedy... but guess what. that's when this terrible little window showed up on the screen. "you have reached the maximum limit of streaming hours for the month." well just shoot me now, stupiud netflix.

my new obsessions.

my new obsessions: #1 black and white photography. anything black and white i just adore. but then i also really like the older pictures... jackie kennedy, marilyn monroe, history stuff. im just kind of in love. jackie kennedy. wa-bam. i love her.

i LOVE this picture.
and this one's kind of sad... but i have always liked it. haha and my mom is always saying people are going to think im stuck up and materialistic because i only post clothes and such on my blog and all my FB statuses are about hair.. ya know what, hair and clothes are the only thing going somewhat decent in my life right now. but yeah, back to what i was saying, i have been thinking i might possibly take history classes in college. not american history or early world history that's all about ancient greece or whatever... i dont care about that. i want like, marilyn monroe world war 1 and 2, great depression, free love hippie history. ya know? do they have a major for that? i know you can be a fashion history major... where you like study the trends of the past and what not. but i couldn't do that, my mom would think it's too materialistic.

this reminds me of one of those movies that takes place during WW 2/ great depression... which i also love. a movie that takes place anywhere from 1900-1960, i just seriously love it.

why do i liek this one so much? yeah i dont even know.

obsession #2: katie holmes. look how freakin adorable she is! in one tree hill, season 5.. haley chops off her hair and goes really dark like this. that's what im doing when i'm old. it's so classy...

i am litterally OBSESSED with this picture. i loveee every single thing about it. the colors she's wearing, her messy side bun, how white she is (but she just works it, ya know?) her shoes, her face... even her turtle neck. i LOVE it.

first of all. look how cute her outfit is. yeahh. she makes me want to crop boyfriend jeans, wear flats with it, button a white cardigan at the top, put a cute scarf with it and chop off my hair. (ps the full sized picture shows her cropped jeans witth flats, i didnt just make that up.)

so cute.

her hair gives me hope for mine in the future.

oh this is sophmore year in english class. this was like... april? may? i dont know exactly. look how short my hair was though! that means it's growing.:)

homecoming.

hahaha.... kelsey hansen knows how to have fun.

oh this is me and gunnar norton.... :) he's a precious boy. i wouldn't mind marrying him... what?:)

little haden jensen. on valentine's day wearing kylee's heart.. so adorable, i know. and then there's tj.... probably gagging on something. oh dear what is he doing... what is he ever doing? and then if you look real close there's a cheasy valentine's day couple in the background. and chris studer's right leg. now if you look even deeper into this picture... like really deep... like reading between the line deep... austin is sitting next to chris. and andre is sitting next to austin. and connor is sitting next to andre. and aaron is sitting next to connor. and im standing next to aaron, beginning to form a circular formation. and kelcie is standing next to me, taking this creepy stalker picture that none of these people know they are featured in. you don't see them? well apparently you cant read between the picture lines.

Wedding Planning.

Boom. Here it is. I was hit with inspiration in my sleep and an hour on the internet later... I have the basic rough outline.
colors: black white gray and a little light pink accents. classy right? yeah i know. i planned it that way.

isn't that preshh?! i quite like it.

okay so this was the first cake i found that i like... but then i was thinkin, is it too... casual for a wedding? idk but it's freakin adorable.

and this... yeah this is the one i want. a little light pink with pearls. so cute.

alright i mostly got this picture for the table cloths in the upper right. how cute is that?! so i was thinkin black and white striped table cloths, white chairs with a sash on it (featured somewhere below) pink satin kind of gathered in the middle for some sort of centerpiece (also somewhat featured below) and lots of pearls kind of tossed cuteely onto the light pink satin. it might be kind of busy with the pink, pearls, stripes and the candle centerpieces but whatever. deal with it. i also like the silver chadeleire. if thats how it's spelled..

idea for the chair sashes.

idea for centerpeices. i don't love it... but i kind of like it. ya know? maybe light pink roses and pearls in it. lotsss of pearls.

brides maid shoes. i want to stick with black shoes i think, but all different styles.

okay for the bridesmaid dresses, i want all LBD's. it's simple and plain, but dress it up with jewlery and fun black pumps... it will be good. and these aint no jc penny dresses. these are all from bloomingdales and nordstrom. these dresses are roughly 400 each.. :)

more shoes. i love black gladiator sandals... :)

another bridesmaid dress. im thinkin 6-10 bridesmaids. all different LBD's and shoes. the simple dresses played up with lots of bling and pearl jewlery.

bridesmaid. ehhh on this one.

sicne one of my colors is pale pastel pink... i couldn't resist putting this pic in. haha

love the wingtip style. LOVE it.

ehhh on this dress too..

so cute. right? yes i know.

kate spade. ADORABLE. i need these.

her hair is atrocious. but i like the simplicity of the dress.

an idea for table candles... i dont knoqw how much im diggin it but whatever.

this is one of my fav bridesmaid dresses. sooo simple but so cute.

okay.... i almost for sure wont be doing this, but i kind of like the sweater vests

gray suit. definitely.

another guy wardrobe idea...

okayy... look at that gray suit trimmed with white. that's so hot. pleas ignore the stripped socks, i just loved the suit. and i kind of like the tie too... but that most likely wont happen either. haha







dress idea. loveee itttt.. and i kind of really like her hair too

More ideas are coming in the future! but i want my reception in doors... somewhere nice, clean, simple, contemporary. i saw an idea where they spelled cute little words out with scrabble letteres... that could be good. and i want all black and white wedding pictures on display. black picture frames, maybe somewhat antiqued on the sides. hung with black/light pink ribbon from the wall, tied with a bow on the top. my husband will be HOT. our engagement pictures.... i will wear skinny jeans, a cute ruffle/possibly floral satin/silk/idk top with a blazer over and heels. cute neckalce/jewlery. hair down, long, gorgeous, dark... big thick, loose waved with possibly a cujte headband. flower? idk. and my gorgeous hunk will wear.. a gray vest. other than that, yeah i dont know. haha the end.